What Actually Happened, The Intro
by HookedOnBooks29
Summary: My first story! What actually happened... form Voldemort's POW but not in 1st person . I dont have much experience in writing fanfic.. this is my 1st piece. This is just the intro, there is one parody per book. Voldemort finds his true passion in this first piece. Thanks to the My Little Pony page on Wiki.


How It All Started

It was a bright sunny day. Voldemort hated bright sunny days. They reminded him of bright sunny days. And Voldemort _hated_ bright sunny days. But today was an especially bad bright sunny day. It was Voldemort's first babysitting job. Voldemort's death eater pals had persuaded him to stay hidden. So naturally, he grew bored. His infamous sidekick, Bellatrix, had come up with the brilliant idea of babysitting every Sunday at a different home to get rid of his boredom. She had come up with the idea when they were going on a midnight stroll in a graveyard.

"My Lord?" Bellatrix had whispered.

"Yes, Bella."

"I think you need to get your mind off things. It has been a little rough for you, my lord, with the prophecy and whatnot. And I sense you have been a little bored?"

"You sense correctly, dear Bella. I have been so bored lately that I have resorted to practicing the Cruciatus curse on my rubber duckies at home in the bathtub."

"Oh… how lovely, my lord. I torture rubber ducklings all the time. You know, my favorite pastime! But anyways, I think I have a cure to your boredom!"

"Do I get to take over the entire world and torture all Mudbloods and muggles?"

"No, my lord. It's even better!"

"What is it, Bella dearest?"

"I think you should babysit small innocent babies!"

"Bella! You are the smartest, most brilliant genius I have met in my life! What a great idea! How come I never thought of it, being as I am the smartest, most brilliant genius I have met in my life?"

"My lord, I have it all planned. It's called 'VV's Babysitting'. I have already posted it on my blog! I call it 'Bella's Blog'. Lucius gave me the name. I thought of calling it 'Blog', but Lucius said it was too original and he didn't think it would appeal to people. He said 'Bella's Blog' had kind of a ring to it. I love it! So I've posted ads for VV's Babysitting, and guess what? Five people already signed up! The fee is 10 galleons or an Avada Kedarva in the head."

"Brilliant, Bella, Brilliant! I think your blog should be called 'Brilliant Bella's Blog!"

"Ah, my lord, you are simply a genius. I will change the name on my blog the minute I get home! But anyways, your first job is at Godric's Hollow. It is a rather small house – here is the picture. You will recognize it immediately. Living in the house is a man with untidy black hair and glasses and his carrot wife."

"His wife is a carrot? I wouldn't mind my wife being a carrot! I always envisioned me with a broccoli, but I think I would look rather dashing with a carrot!"

"No, my lord, I meant she is a ginger!"

"Oh… ginger! Even better! Feisty, eh!"

"Oh, never mind…"

Voldemort arrived at the house. He knocked on the door. When nobody answered, he knocked the door over with his wand and strode in. Inside was a man sitting on the couch, making tiny puffs of smoke come out of his wand. A black haired baby was trying to catch the smoke in his fists. Voldemort recognized the family.

"Ah, the Potters! How nice to meet you! You do know that I am destined to battle to death with your baby some years from now?"

"Oh, yes, I am fully aware of that. Now, please make yourself comfortable. Would you like some tea?" said the man.

"Oh yes!"

"Lily!" the man called. At her name, a small red-haired lady appeared at the steps. She smiled shyly at Voldemort, only to be engulfed in a great hug.

"Ginger! Carrot!" he yelled. Lily regained her balance and patted his back awkwardly.

While Lily went to go make the tea, Voldemort and James Potter made some small talk. They talked about Voldemort's evil plans to kill little Harry and to take over the world. They talked about Puddlemere United's smashing victory against the Chudley Cannons. They talked about torturing rubber duckies. Around 10pm, after the tea and all, Lily and James got ready to bid their new friend Voldemort goodnight. Voldemort didn't budge. He wanted to know when he could babysit Harry. Lily and James didn't know that Voldemort was here to babysit Harry. Voldemort became pissed.

"That's the reason I'm here, you slimy gits! You think I came here to chat and drink tea?"

When James opened his mouth to retort, Voldemort whipped out his wand and shot a spell at him.

"Avada Kedar-"

Something suddenly distracted Voldemort. It was a My Little Pony! Voldemort hadn't seen one in years! It stuck out of a crevice in the sofa with its rainbow tail splayed out on a fluffy yellow pillow. Voldemort was mesmerized by its tail and dropped his wand to go investigate further. He gasped when he saw that it had wings! No way! He grabbed it and made a swooping motion through the air while making buzzing noises. It was Baby Bouncy! She was the one with a beach ball on her butt! Voldemort had always wanted her! Baby Bouncy was one of the first tooth ponies, in charge of taking care of the twins Baby Snookums and Sniffles and Baby Milkweed and Tumbleweed. She, alongside the other baby ponies had one tooth and was involved in a feud against Fudgey McSwain and Rocky Ripple! Voldemort couldn't believe his eyes. This was the _real _magic. Tiny Harry Potter, seeing his enthusiasm, went to his room to collect more. Voldemort meanwhile groped inside of his robes; trying to find his secret stash of My Little Ponies he always carried around with him. He pulled out Honeysuckle. Honeysuckle was argumentative to the other Flutter Ponies but sometimes respective to Rosedust. It was time for Honeysuckle to change the season from Autumn to Winter. She would gather snow crystals from a secret ice cave and flew into the sky, sprinkling the crystals into the clouds and ponds. Snowflakes began to dance down from the clouds as the ponds iced over. Soon, Voldemort and Harry were engaged in a ferocious My Little Pony battle, trading and admiring the various ponies. Finally, around 5am, Voldemort stood up, pulled his cloak around him, and swept all the magical ponies off the table and scooped them into his cloak pockets. Harry immediately started crying and his parents ran down so see what was going on. Voldemort aimed killing curses to both parents before they could say anything and ran off into the night with his My Little Ponies after banging down the door. This marked the beginning of a huge war between Harry and Voldemort that would last for years.


End file.
